I am thrilled to report that I am cancer free. I just completed recent scans and everything is clear. Many people refer to this as NED (no evidence of disease) and we cancer survivors all love to say that we are dancing with NED. We all hope to continue to be dancing with him forever if possible.

I’ve heard it said that time heals us and while most of my physical issues from cancer have healed, it’s what remains that sometimes fills my thoughts and lingers in the back of my mind as I move forward with my life again after cancer. I’m sure its the same for other people that face this beast, you just hope and pray it never returns.

So as a reminder don’t forget to be diligent against this formidable foe. Self-exams are so important as no one knows a woman’s body better than herself. After all I found my own tumor and even my doctor didn’t think it seemed like anything until after a biopsy confirmed my cancer.

As I reflect back over the last three years, I think the most important thing I want to say is that cancer didn’t beat me. You do learn not to think about it every waking moment. You can get your life back. You are able to return to a new normal in your daily routines. And with the help of my faith, family and friends I am a stronger, better person today for having faced cancer.[…]

For those that may not know about my pink journey, you can read all about it at the link provided. I haven’t posted about my cancer in quite awhile. Not that I don’t think about it but sometimes it’s just good not to have to dwell on cancer too much. For the first year after being diagnosed with cancer, that’s all I could do was think about my cancer. At times it felt like I could never NOT think about it. It’s always on your mind and you try real hard not to let it drive you crazy. Then as time goes on, it gets better. It’s not in every thought you have. It’s not the first thing you think about when you wake up and it’s not the last thought you have when you drift off to sleep. You do learn to deal with it or at least come to terms with it.

The battle is never easy and at times unbearable. But for me, time has helped and my body has healed. It’s been just over two and a half years now and with just having completed scans for cancer two weeks ago, I have good news. I am so happy to say — I’m out of the pink and into the NED. NED being no evidence of disease. All I can really say is praise God and try to remember to enjoy each and every precious moment of life.

If you take nothing else from this blog post, I hope you take a moment to be thankful for your health, your life, your family, your faith, and remember all those who are still battling this vicious foe. Some day all our tears will be wiped away and there will be no more pain, no more sadness, and no more death. […]

I have heard many people say that battling cancer makes you a better person. You don’t take things for granted. You love your family a bit deeper and you know how fragile your good health can be. You face your fears. You endure surgery, chemo, hair loss, and radiation. You fight to get well and get your life back as you once knew it. And you remember to enjoy each and every precious minute of your life.

Sure it’s been hard, I won’t try and sugar-coat cancer. There is nothing sweet about it. It tears you and your family apart and you are never the same again. Yes you can get better and yes you learn that you can face your worst days. You heal and become a stronger person for all that you have experienced. You find a new strength within yourself and you move on.

So as I look back on this two year cancerversary, I am thankful to God above and feel blessed that I’m cancer free now. I look forward to many more years of good health, loving my family, and enjoying my life. I know that I am stronger and that I can and have faced cancer. I move on now with a new sense of courage and conviction.

In closing, I want to express my gratitude for all your love, support and prayers. You have all helped me more than you will ever know to be able to endure and succeed in this journey that I began two years ago. Thank you all![…]

Some survivors feel companies are exploiting breast cancer and just slapping a pink ribbon on everything in an effort to sell their products. I’ve read that the pink ribbon, as a symbol, tends to pretty up what is a pretty ugly disease. Some say the pink ribbon is easier to look at than the disease itself.

Cancer is a nasty, cruel, and deadly beast. It attacks our healthy cells, assaults our bones and blood, destroys our vital organs, and invades our brains. Cancer takes our hair, our loved ones, our body parts and our lives. It causes pain, despair, misery, sorrow, and death. Cancer is not a pretty picture by any means, pink ribbon or not.

Many people feel overwhelmed by the constant pink reminder of cancer. I know I’ve never really been a big fan of the whole pink thing. I remember when I first was diagnosed with breast cancer, I didn’t want anyone to know and I sure didn’t want to wear pink cancer stuff. I remember being given a free pink baseball cap at my cancer treatment center. I did not want to wear it. Maybe I was in denial but I didn’t want to publicize my cancer by wearing pink. Later as I came to grips with my cancer and accepted it, I did wear my pink baseball hat. I don’t know if I am making any sense but these are the many thoughts I have about the whole pink thing. Oh don’t misunderstand my feelings about cancer awareness. If all the pink ribbons will help some women to get their mammogram or do self-exams, I’m all for it. I only hope that companies aren’t looking to profit off all this pink stuff as that just isn’t what this is all suppose to be about.

So please during this month of breast cancer awareness, do focus on the important message in all this. We all want to kick cancer out of our lives and the lives of others permanently. I pray for all those fighting this terrible foe, may you have healing and peace as you move along your journey. But ultimately I hope and pray a cure can be found once and for all![…]

My arm port was removed by my surgeon in his procedure’s room at the doctor’s office. I was a little nervous as I have heard from several people that they go in a lot easier than they come out. Some people actually have them removed at the hospital under anesthesia but my surgeon assured me it would be fine to just have it removed in the office with a numbing to the incision area. I think the most painful part was the numbing as he had to stick the needle in several areas and the medicine stung as it went in. Then the port didn’t want to pull out very easily. He had to pull, tug, and do a few other things that I didn’t want to look at so I just looked away. He said I had quite a bit of scar tissue that had developed around the port. After several minutes of pulling, the port and the long plastic tubing all came out. I didn’t feel anything really other than a bit of pressure.

My arm is a little sore where the port was but it feels wonderful to have it gone. I always had to worry about not bumping it and had to be careful not to do anything very strenuous with that arm as not to damage the port or line into my chest. But that chapter after one full year is done. I am feeling almost normal or at least my new normal now. My hair has grown back, my scans are clear, and my doctors tell me that my long term prognosis is excellent. So tonight I take a deep breath, say a prayer of thanksgiving, and now move on with the knowledge that I have victoriously finished this chapter in my pink journey.[…]

In closing, I want to say thank you to everyone who has emailed, commented, prayed, written, called, or otherwise supported me through this pink journey. It hasn’t been easy. Cancer never is. But there is always hope and things can get better. I am proof positive of this.

So thanks again all my friends and family, I love you all. Enjoy life to its fullest and have a very happy New Year![…]

I started taking Tamoxifen today which I’m a bit concerned about this drug therapy but I know it is necessary as my cancer tumor was estrogen positive and I have to make sure I don’t feed my cancer. I am concerned about all the side effects with Tamoxifen but I am reminded that this whole thing is out of my hands. I need to leave it all in the healing hands of our Lord.

So overall I’m doing pretty good and just wanted to let everyone know how I am doing. My hair is growing back but at a very sloooow rate. My hair has always been fine so all this chemo hasn’t been good for my hair. But it is growing and I hope by Christmas to have a little “do” that I can display so I don’t have to continue the knit hat and ball cap routine.

More later, until then thank you everyone for all your wonderful warm thoughts and prayers.
Cindy […]

Anyway thankfully I’ll be done before the weather gets bad and the snow hits up here. So that’s at least one good thing. I’m trying to focus on the positives and keeping my spirits up. Of course the biggest positive of radiation is that it’s killing off any remaining cancer cells and hopefully putting a final end to my cancer ever returning.

So I return next week for my simulation and to have my form made for radiation. Apparently they scan my body and create this form which my head and arms will rest in while I have the radiation. The form is custom made for me so that I am in the exact same position for each radiation treatment. I’m told that the treatment itself takes only about 10 minutes and even with undressing and prep time, the whole appointment should only take about 30 minutes.

The main side effects that they shared with me were that my breast skin could get red, burn, peel, and maybe blister a bit. They have some very good prescription gel that I will be able to apply which takes care of most problems that I may experience. Fatigue is very common and increases with subsequent treatments. I was told most people don’t experience too much fatigue until latter stages of the daily treatments.

Some long term concerns which of course are downplayed are lung irritation and scarring. Radiation to the left breast may increase the long-term risk for developing heart disease and heart attacks. Unfortunately I am getting my radiation on the left side so this worries me. One other issue is of the ribs on the radiated side, they are more susceptible to breakage if you’re ever in a car accident or sustain a bad fall on that side.

Anyway that’s about all the news I have to share about my upcoming radiation. I will know more after my simulation but I’m trusting God to give me strength and peace through this next step of my treatment. Yes there are scary concerns with all cancer treatments but then what’s the alternative. I have made the choice to fight and fight I will. With all my might and with all my soul and all my heart![…]

So for everyone that has been emailing me for an update — I’m still here. I’m feeling okay for now. I still have a very positive outlook. I reminded how lucky we all are that are facing this cancer beast. We have the greatest medicines to kill this stuff and the greatest force on Heaven and Earth — God!

So for all of us who are fighting this foe — take heart, hold onto your faith, carry your head high, we can and will win this battle![…]

On a crafting note, I’m working on some dishcloths with center scrubbers made from recycled plastic bags. I also experimenting with these green plastic sleeves that the grocer puts lettuce in.

I’ve saved up several of them in hopes of using them with cotton yarn to to create a durable dishcloth with the green netting crocheted together with the cotton. I’ll post it as soon as I’ve successfully completed the project.

In the mean time, I’ll be recouping for a few days at home until I return to my real job. Thanks everyone again for all your warm thoughts, hugs, and prayers for me.
God bless and of course, happy green crafting to all![…]