Time For The Big Haircut
The time has come for the big haircut. This isn’t just a trim to get me by. Last Thursday, which was day 14 after my first chemo treatment, my hair began to fall out. My hair has been shoulder length for years. On Thursday, those long strands began to just fall out. Of course I had to keep checking and each time I pulled on a few strands, my hair came right out. I could only laugh to prevent myself from crying. I’ve known this day was coming. In fact, the doctor was right on target with his prediction of when my hair might begin to fall out.
Thursday night, my falling hair took a more serious move and I had to call my dear neighbor friend Joanne to help me. After some tears, a good heart-to-heart talk with my friend and a glass of wine, I got my nerves and my emotions in check. Yes its only hair and no I’m not just my hair. I’ve heard it said, if the chemo is doing this to ones hair, what can it be doing to those nasty cancer cells. So Joanne trimmed my hair short on the back and sides to get me through a few more days as she just didn’t have the heart to shave it all off. It looked quite cute and gave me a few days to adjust to short hair. But I knew what was coming and it was just three days away.
Sunday arrived and my hair is really not wanting to enjoy the holiday weekend with me. I know the time has come and it needs to be today. So on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, with a sweet breeze blowing off the creek onto our porch, my husband and I took the next step in our pink journey and shaved my head. Yes my head’s not too pretty looking now but feels so much better. I donned a bandanna scarf and with my head held high, I continue on down the roadway of my pink journey.
Tags: breast cancer, cancer
May 25, 2008
I want to say something but I am not sure what. You are in my thoughts and I wish you sincere wishes on the next stage of your journey.
Virtual hugs to you.
May 25, 2008
You’re in my prayers. My mom preferred to wear terry cloth head wraps, which we sewed up from some of her softest old towels. They looked kind of like a turban, and she jazzed them up with old brooches and pins from her jewelry box. We made several to match her shirts, and she looked very stylish while remaining comfortable.
For her, the head wraps didn’t move or constrict her head like a bandanna did. I wish I had a pattern, but they were very simple to make.
For the record, when her hair came back in, it was curly and a beautiful silver color which she loves!
May 25, 2008
Your bravery and positive attitude is going to help you down this journey. I wish you many hugs and some really cute hats!
May 25, 2008
@Andrea,
Thanks so much for the support. I know its hard to understand but I so appreciate your wonderful hug.
May 25, 2008
@Melissa and Heather,
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means so much to me.
May 25, 2008
Hi Cindy! I found your blog a while back when I was searching for a way to effectively re-purpose cassette tapes. I’ve been reading ever since. You have some great stuff here!
Aside from the crafts, thanks for posting about your pink journey. I have great friends who have battled through the same thing. We don’t know each other, but I’m standing with you as you conquer this!
May 26, 2008
A big big big hug for you š
May 26, 2008
@Eddie,
So glad you found some projects to re-use those cassette tapes. They really do crochet into very pretty bags. Thanks so much for your support in my pink journey too!
@Wen,
Thank you so much for the big hug!
May 26, 2008
Brava!
I admire you, your courage and your useful and nice blog!
May 26, 2008
Hello Bricolo-chic,
Glad to have you stop by my blog. Thanks for the kind words.
May 26, 2008
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I have several family members who had this awful disease, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking them to share their experiences. I try to understand something I’ve not been through, and I’m not afraid to acknowledge a person’s illness and listen if they want to talk, or even ask questions if I don’t understand.
Your blog entry showed me just what someone feels and copes with in losing their hair. Thank you for that. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to share such a personal challenge in a public way. Bravo!
For me, I feel a great sense of strength and courage from women who are bald from chemo. You didn’t let the chemo decide when you were losing your hair – I think that’s very cool that YOU took control of it.
Women are all beautiful in one way or another, but the women I find the most beautiful are the ones who have the courage to go out in public, heads held high, showing the rest of us that beauty is truly not just skin deep. I met a woman once who made the decision not to cover her head at all. What an empowering statement she made, for herself and those who met her!
I truly wish you the best in fighting the cancer – big, big hug from me to you. You are a blessing and inspiration to many.
Namaste….
May 27, 2008
I think that you are very brave.You have the courage to say it all here in public and stay strong at the same time.I wish you all the best.
May 27, 2008
All the best to you. Your outlook during all this is impressive. Please know that a complete stranger is thinking of you and sending good thoughts for your recovery.
You can beat this.
May 27, 2008
God Bless you! God be with you! God grant you the darlingest hair in the whole wide world when this is over! I don’t know you, Cindy, but I love you dearly and I am praying for you every day.
May 27, 2008
Cindy, as always you are in my prayers. I think that you made a wise and difficult choice. {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}
May 27, 2008
@Everyone who has responded,
Thank you so much. I love you all and even though we may have never met, I feel your support. It is a journey but with all my friends, I am able to perserve. Your support means so much to me. I feel all your powerful thoughts and prayers.
Thank you,
Cindy
May 27, 2008
More big hugs coming your way, Cindy! I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with, but I’m glad you have this outlet to share with us. Keeping you in my thoughts!
May 27, 2008
Hugs for you. š I will send lots of warm thoughts your way.
May 28, 2008
Hello Cindy,
Sending you big waves of positive thinking.
You are a brave woman.
Marie
May 28, 2008
I was surprised when my eyebrows went. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what was different. I was hoping for curly red hair, and the genes are there, but the same old straight brown hair came back. Sinnead O’Connor was popular during my treatment in the early ’80’s, so I was fashionable for the first (and last) time in my life.
Keep on crafting, keep on laughing. You know you’re not alone.
May 28, 2008
With tears in eyes, after reading this, I write to say, I have been very neglectful of my own screening, I am well over 2 years since I had my last mammogram, and with diagnosis, I have stopped and realized, “I” have to take care of me, and I have to make the appointment, which I did, scheduled for next week.
Do I see some cute hats and scarves on your to do list for future blog entries? I think about the step you took and know it was a big one to shave your hair, I admire your courage and strength and pray for you to remain strong. XOX
May 28, 2008
@Nan,
I am so glad to hear you have scheduled your mammogram. It is so important to get screened yearly over 40. I feel so blessed that I got myself checked when I did to catch this cancer early. Early detection is so very important. Thank you for your prayers of support.
May 29, 2008
I just happened across your blog and was reading about your illness. I’ve had cancer twice in the past 8 years–the first time only surgery, and the second time chemo and radiation. Oddly, even though everyone else in my chemo group lost their hair, mine just thinned out. Probably glued in there from 20 years of hair dye! But I went and got myself a crewcut to show solidarity with my group. You know, I got a wig, but it was just too hot and itchy (I live in south Texas), so I just ran around bald. I really didn’t mind it, the hair was just one less thing to worry about.
What surprised me was looking down one day after showering and realizing that my pubic hair had disappeared. Then I looked at my legs and all of that hair was gone, too. Talk about a blessing! I loved not having to shave, and it took over a year for the hair on my legs to come back.
I’ve been 6 years cancer free. Keep in mind that there really is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there.
May 30, 2008
My prayers and thoughts are with you, hope you will get back to your old self and be able to make those recyled bags and things soon. we sure do miss them, but most important-Get Well soon. take care of yourself and hope all the treatments work.
Love Millie
May 30, 2008
Hugs and Prayers Cindy! You are amazing!
Jun 03, 2008
Thinking of you….thanks for the help the other day with the triple positive. I hope she emails you….
Jun 04, 2008
Good luck and get well soon.
Jun 05, 2008
Sending warm wishes for strength and peace in your journey. My cousin is now recovering from her chemo and doing very well. She had a positive additude and it really helped. Know that you are in our prayers.
I love your site and found it because I was looking for crochet patterns. I haven’t crocheted in 20 years and your projects are an inspiration to dig out my hooks and start back. Take care!
Jun 06, 2008
Again, thank you all for the overwhelming response to this thread. It truly touches my heart to know that so many are supporting me through this pink journey.
Jun 06, 2008
My prayers are with you, Cindy. Don’t give up hope and continue on your courageous journey.
I have always enjoyed your blog and your positive attitude.
Jun 07, 2008
I can tell you’re a tough cookie. It’s so hard to lose your hair – but (and I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times) it will grow back. It will. It will. It will.
When my hair started dropping out of my head in clumps, I knew it was time to cut it off. Prior to that, I’d convinced myself that if I cut it really short, I’d be the ONE person whose hair didn’t fall out from chemo. When I faced the reality, my then-12-year-old son helped me with the hair cut. I grabbed sharp scissors and cut off the front and sides, and then my boy cut the back. We laughed and we cried, but we did it.
Now it’s time for you to have fun with hats and scarves!
Hang in there! Thinking of you!
– Kelley (who talked to you on Ravelry)
Jun 08, 2008
God’s blessing to you as you go through this journey of you life..
Hair will always grow back.
It’s hard but a small price to pay for your health.
Time goes by as fast you will have hair again before you know it.
Know you will be an encouragement to others by your sharing..
Jun 14, 2008
Hi
Just a note to say thanks for the inspiration with your bags and things, and also to wish you the very best in your journey.
My Mum is recently recovering from breast cancer and for her, losing her hair was the hardest thing. She (very bravely) decided to make it a thing to laugh about and not cry – it did her (and us) the world of good as she tried to make something so devastatingly personal into something we could all smile about. She’s had quite a lengthy treatment period – radio & chemotherapy as well as Herceptin which over here in the UK is a “new” treatment and to see her smiling and laughing throughout made a huge difference to both her recovery and our amazement at her bravery.
My thoughts are with you as you continue.
Jo
Jun 15, 2008
Hi Cindy. I stumbled upon your blog while searching “recycled purses.” My thoughts are with you in your struggle against cancer. It is truly miraculous that treatments can be so effective now and disrupt life so little. I am so happy to hear how smoothly things have gone in your treatment. I wish you a speedy recovery. Cancer is one of those things we will never fully understand, but we have to let it empower and not destroy us. Keep up the blog – very therapeutic, I am sure.
Jun 17, 2008
I saw my friend Marguerite yesterday–I’m posting about her on my blog tomorrow, having just gotten permission–and she, for the first time, felt comfortable, having just done her last radiation treatment for her breast cancer, lifting her wig a moment and letting us see how she looks now.
And as she did so, she smiled the most radiant smile to the circle of friends around her who had wished her well and supported her through these last eight months. She showed us her baldness–and it was all I could do not to exclaim out loud, You’re BEAUTIFUL! Not being sure how that would come across. I didn’t want to sound too surprised. It’s just, she glowed with love as she showed us how she is now. And I felt highly honored.
Best wishes to you too, as you go through this.
And here I thought I was just going to be seeing recycled stuff when I clicked on your link, and instead I find a fellow spirit I’m rooting for. Knit long and prosper!
(From a lupus-and-Crohn’s patient.)
Jun 27, 2008
I’ve only just found your site and love your recycled items. they are really wonderful. My daughter has almost completed her own course of treatment for breast cancer – now to only 8 more radiation and then remove the ‘port’ and we’re done. Her hair is now growing back and it’s curly!! Really exciting and she thinks it’s a bonus. while bald and beautiful during the summer months, she began with some head scarves and then, unless needing sun protection felt quite happy to show the world a naked head. It’s been several months we’d rather not have had to experience, but there have been plenty of laughs and great times. Best wishes to you and keep up the craft work – it can really help keep you with the right level of sanity (or insanity) and craft people always seem to be very generous with support and whatever else is needed.